No one is lucky but everyone is!

No one is lucky but everyone is!

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The easiest thing in life is to incriminate others of your failures. It gets you rid of the burden of guilt for being a nemesis of your own life. But an eye dilating fact is that you and nobody else is the nemesis of your happiness and success that life could ever offer you. You may dissent this fact but better if you realise this lately and chop these failures off your life.

All the people who are successful and happy have one thing in common, they are cognizant of the fact that they themselves are responsible for whatever happens in their life. Whatever good or bad happens to them happens because they allowed those things to happen. They are not merely the victims of life, but creators. In them dwells the power to seize control of the ilk of experiences they have in their lives. I am afraid of being misinterpreted to have said that they have some spiritual powers dwelling in them, but I would not hesitate to stare right into your eyes and tell you that yes! they do have power. However when I say power, I do not want to sound like a religious person, that I am not but sound like a liberal that I am.

They have the power of their thoughts, focus, willingness to achieve, passion towards the things they love. I mean that they are disciplined enough to choose their reactions to the circumstances they experience. They may experience the same events in life or be offered the same opportunities as you are but the way they respond to these events and opportunities tailor the repercussions that design their lives. Everyone experiences both favourable and unfavourable situations in his/her life but what matters most is how he/she chooses to respond to it.   

There are people out there who claim to be lucky. They believe that only good things happen to them overlooking the bad that has ever happened to them. However, there is also a vast majority out there who claim that nothing good happens to them and they are the victims of all the bad that the world ever had to offer. Derren Brown a British Illusionist, trickster, hypnotist and sceptic once did an experiment to see if people really have a luck factor or there is anything called ‘luck factor’. In his experiment that lasted for 3 months, he took help from a television journalist who would ask people a simple question ‘Have you ever heard about that lucky dog statue in your area?’  With a motive to spread a rumour that there exists a lucky dog in their area and if they pat him they’d get lucky. After few days she realized that people were discussing about that lucky dog and many people have actually gone to see that dog. And after she was sure that the rumour has started to pick up she then interviewed people seeking their responses on if this dog proved to be lucky to them in any way. From the responses, she had learnt that most people who already thought they were lucky gave affirmative responses about the dog being lucky, while the rest did not even visit the dog or if they did, they disapproved that the dog was lucky. Then Derren managed a ploy and offered the people various opportunities to win and test if that lucky dog was lucky for them. It was observed that people who claimed to be lucky tried every opportunity and won many and were happy, eventually reinstating their belief of being lucky, while those who had always thought they were a bundle of haplessness availed no opportunity, eventually reaffirming themselves that they were unlucky. The story might not completely rule out that there is nothing in this world called the lucky dog or the luck factor but it certainly can lead us to the conclusion that everyone can get lucky if not every time but quite often, if he explored opportunities and tried things with a passionate heart.

There are opportunities all around, waiting to be unveiled. All you need to do is to keep an open outlook and welcome experiences and not shun partaking in various opportunities that the Life has to offer. Embrace whatever comes your way and do not shy away of events or people. Go out and expose yourself to the world with your whole heart filled with passion, faith and conviction and gradually you’d experience that your positive experiences will outnumber your negatives. And once you are there these little accomplishments would help you bolster your faith to accomplish bigger goals further. 

Success is never lopsided or It’s not really Success.

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Most of the people want to be successful in their lives, however only few among them can explain what success is to them. And this obscure picture of their goal makes their goal remain elusive for years and years. I am not going to bore you by listing out salary packages and accomplishments to tell what success is; rather I would like to generalize it so that anyone can relate him/herself to it. Success is to ameliorate the lives you touch and including your own, and leave the world better than as you found it. Success is not just a lopsided growth or momentary happiness rather it leads to sustained happiness and a multi-pronged growth.

All those who have been successful at any point of time were not just lucky to be born with a favorable set of resources; in fact, they created success with dedication and discipline that most of us miss to see. Just as a Swan moves effortlessly and gracefully along with the flow of the water, successful people appear unperturbed or Lucky! to have achieved all that they have, but what we do not see is the effort they had to put in to reach where they are, like a swan has to paddle(effort!) below the surface of the water to get herself going.

It takes effort to get lucky. It takes discipline to do things that we know are boring and painful but important for us to do in order to achieve what we want. Successful lives just don’t happen serendipitously, it takes effort, courage but consistent courage to have it. Doesn’t matter if you are tired, as winners like to do what’s right than what’s easy.

This can happen only if our mind and body is in harmony with each other. As they say a healthy mind resides in a healthy body, it becomes inevitable to have good health in order to achieve what we want. Also not just healthy body alone would fetch results it ought to be corroborated with a healthy mind too. Just as it takes nutritious food to nourish a healthy body, it takes nutritious thoughts to nourish a healthy mind. So it’s important to be at peace to make your brain think creatively. It has been said that ‘Necessity is the mother of Invention’ but here comes my version: A dream is a mother of Invention. A Person may not have a necessity to do something but his dream to be or achieve something in life would make him manifest what he wants. We all are blessed with a power to manifest what we want and all we need is to be aware of it and then use it effectively. And that power is the power of thought; our thoughts have the power to control and channelize our actions. But it is onto us to capitalize on this power or let it go flailing aimlessly. Intuition is another manifestation of a healthy mind and for that to work for us, it takes discipline to exercise control over our thoughts.

People around us are the resources that can help us reach closer to our goal. Rather than picking holes one should seek good in everyone. Now this isn’t an Idea from any sermon but for sure a mantra to success. Only few people wake up in the morning and say “How can I mess up someone’s day today and alleviate my credibility?” If people make mistakes they do so because of lack of their awareness not intentionally. Even we make mistakes, so how can we expect others to be perfect when we ourselves are not. When we expect others to forgive us for our mistakes why do we become stingy when we are expected to do it to others? Let Go! When we hold on to a grudge, it eats up our energy and causes leakages. Don’t let that happen. Preserve your energy for productive purpose; do not waste it on trivial and unproductive activities. Stay placid, because only if you are at peace in your mind your mind will be able to show up its tremendous powers that can work miracles for you. See good in everyone and synergise and then see the amazing outcomes that synergising can bring to you. Motivate people around you so that they can work at their best and create an environment of positivity and productivity. And there is nobody who don’t know this; what goes around, comes around. Wait for miracles to happen in your life.

Make improvements in your life on a daily basis. Form habits of things that most people don’t like to do, instead of knowing that these things are important to get them closer to their goal. Every day we need to nourish our thoughts only then would it produce flowering results. Spend at least some time on a daily basis on improving your skills, knowledge, behaviour, personality, relationships, and health. Invest time in self-improvement and thinking supplemented with deeds will manifest things. Think about your goals and take actions that would take you closer to your goals and your actions and thoughts will take you to them.

Don’t over-complicate! We think things that we believe, others would think, when they actually do not. If I do this, s/he would think this and that and Bla! Bla! Bla! Why not just keep it Simple and not extrapolate issues hyperbolically. Let’s not bring in a series of Ideas that is nothing but a result of our own apprehensiveness.

Drop those limiting beliefs. Most people consider the limitation of their vision to be the limitation of the world, failing to realize that there are opportunities beyond. They live false assumptions in terms of what they can or cannot have, do and be? Their thinking impossible stuff dominates their minds as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their false notions about limitations of their lives keep them from the greatness they were meant to be or achieve. Remember, we see the world not as it actually is rather as we are. We become oblivious to the fact that we are the creators not victims of our destiny.

We have heard hundreds of time in millions of different ways that we become what we think about. So we will have to eat this fact that we will never go higher than our thinking. What you focus on expands and what you dwell on determines your destiny.

Give yourself some time, listen to yourself, and help yourself. One of the primary traits of successful people is their ability to detach from the noise. Each day, noise such as daily challenges, minor interruptions and interesting distractions beg for our attention. To get to your own unique form of greatness, it’s essential to detach from the noise and stay focused. Each of us – I suggest you – must find time for ourselves. Only in silence do Ideas prosper and when your mind is at peace it is able to think rationally and create ideas that are necessary to create a fulfilling future.

Embrace change as an opportunity to grow. Learn something new. See every challenge as an opportunity. Try looking at brighter side of everything. This nature is perfect in its acts and everything that happens has a both positive and negative side to it. It takes courage to see the positive side but only those who do can bear the fruit of success. We grow the most during our toughest times. So why do we judge them as bad – when they bring such good? And they always bring tiny miracles, but only If you are awake to them.

As I said in the very beginning that success is never lopsided, It has to be exhaustive. If we are satisfied professionally but facing hassles personally then you will not be termed completely successful. As your thought process in one area would affect your thought process in the other area. So you should be striving to achieve a balance in all the areas of your life. Ever noticed that it’s the people we love most that we take most for granted? Odd isn’t it. It’s easy to spend less time with your family because they will always be there for you (or so you assume). It’s easy to delay expressing your love to your loved ones as there seems to be no urgency but it takes courage and discipline to not to miss that. It’s easy to let home-relationships slip by as you assume there are more pressing things to deal with, but it takes power to hold on. So I wish you to exercise control over your thoughts and harness the immense power that lies within you and aim for an all-round success as there is no wisdom in being successful, yet alone. Wish you SUCCESS!

Women bounded by the Fetters of Religion, Society and alike.

Women: A genesis of Power!
Women: A genesis of Power!

Women have had variegated treatments from men and society. If some have treated them as Goddesses, then others have treated them as slaves. There have always been discords about the actual status and the ideal status of women. Many poets have portrayed women in ways that reflect their patriarchal hegemony, and have called women as Woe unto men,while  many others have displayed empathy towards the pain and sufferings women had borne and have rather portrayed women as pristine and holy beings. Such has been the state of women in History and it still persists in the 21st century.

Indian Society is formed around diverse regional, religious, social and political beliefs, but by and large the overall belief system regarding women is framed out of Patriarchal hegemony. Despite several changes made to the status of women at various points of time, inequality between men and women still prevails in the country.

Time and again many voices have been raised from various quarters that women must be educated and play an active role in economical and political matters and be given due respect. There have also been many instances where women have played a prominent role and made a difference. We have many powerful women, who have created niche in various fields, but these are not many in number. Despite this, there is a huge chunk of women in various parts of the country who are vulnerable to various types of exploitation. Even today many problems associated with women, prevail like: limited access to cash, employment opportunities and education; male dominance in the family, gender bias, dowry, honor killing, female infanticide, domestic violence, crime against women, problems at work place, et cetra.

Though it is not easy to find out, when exactly did the status of women started to flag, yet some knowledge from the history would help to make it clear. It cannot be clearly said that in ancient times equal status was given to women as to men, however it can be assumed that people held liberal attitude towards women, as women were allowed to participate in religious and social events and were given right to choose their partner for marriage. But a widow was never permitted to remarry and if she did, she was looked down by everyone in the society. As India started heading towards civilization such discrimination against women increased. Prejudices against women, that claimed women as weaker sex in many ways were expressed through various canons and maxims by various religions. The status of women started to deteriorate as the legacy began to be handed down to the sons in the family. Once the social and economic status of men began to ameliorate the status of women further deteriorated. During the period of dharamshastra the status of women in the society flagged to an unprecedented extent. This period brought with itself many demeanor guiding the behaviour of women. It was during this period that child marriage was encouraged. During this era the birth of a girl child was considered an inauspicious thing and some people also practiced female infanticide.

With the arrival of the East India Company, the status of women transformed. To expand its network of trading in India, it started to acquire territories in India. With their expansion across different territories the company had to acquire the rights to make laws, in order to maintain order. The Company consulted the pundits and moulvis to frame laws and the result was that the women’s matrimonial rights to property and various other such rights were also taken away. Then with the dawn of the 19th century the wave of transformation pervaded into the Indian society when the Queen’s proclamation of 1859 declared that the British authorities will not interfere in the religious matters of the people. Then various laws transforming the structure of the society were introduced in the Princely States. In the first place Baroda introduced the divorce provision. Another Princely state Mysore ratified the Infant Marriage Prevention act 1894. Following the suit, the Malabar part of the Madras Presidency and Travancore also introduced such reforms. Though the Princely states introduced such reforms, unfortunately they could not keep a check on their violation.

The very first challenge in front of the reformers of that time was the abolition of sati or widow immolation. It was a practice where Hindu women climbed the funeral pyre of her husband. Though this was not a religious obligation but it was believed that by doing so a woman atoned the sins of her husband and ascended to the heaven. Moreover, even if a woman did not want to become sati, social pressure forced her to do so. Many people and social groups fought for the abolition of this evil custom. Raja Ram Mohan Roy, a prominent Reformer and the creater of Brahmo Samaj, fought against this evil and with the assistance from Lord Willaim Bentick a ban on Sati was imposed.  He also did a great work in the field of girl education. He stood against child marriage and favoured widow remarriage. He himself married a widow and set an example for the society. All the attempts to make legislations that allowed remarriage were opposed by the Hindu conservatives, who believed that widow remarriage was a disgrace to the society and it meant exclusion from the heaven. Reformers like Dayanand Saraswati and Ishwar Chander Vidya sagar fought for the enactment of the widow remarriage act and brought about Hindu Widows Remarriage Act 1856 to existence.

Child Marriage was another blotch on the society as early marriage affected the growth and development of a child’s body. Ishwar Chander Vidya Sagar along with Keshab Chandra Sen with some help from Mahatma Gandhi was successful in getting Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1929 passed.

A girl child was considered a burden on her family. As the Parents believed that the girl has to go to her husband’s home after marriage, spending on her education would merely be an expense to them. Also, a large amount of Dowry that the girl’s parents had to pay and the huge marriage expenses that they had to bear bothered the parents. All these factors made girl a burden on her family. So in order to get rid of such a burden many parents started the practice of female infanticide and female foeticide, which exist even today.

Though many acts have been passed to get away with all these evils, all these practices are still prevalent in the states of Haryana, Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan, etc. Even today girls are mistreated, rape cases are heard every day, in many states girls are even sold. Even today women face domestic violence. Even today parents hesitate to educate their girl child. They do not hesitate to spend lavishly on the education of their male child and become miser in case of their daughters. Even by educating them, parents do not intend to make their girl child independent, but, make them eligible to get married to a wealthy man, thus making them engage in the household work for the rest of their lives.

Though Women have reached Corporate, they still haven’t been able to receive equal treatment as men. Though Women have attained positions in Forbes List they still haven’t attained respect in the eyes of men. Though many women have made it to the world’s most powerful women’s List, yet there are many more who still struggle to get power to take decisions in their own lives. Where there are women who bear the burden of their whole family and earn living for themselves there are many others who are burnt alive failing to bring handsome dowry. Women might be shouldering the economic responsibility of her family at par with men yet no one stands to share her burden of household work. She should earn for the family but should not demand her rights to expend that money according to her will.

Alone women won’t be able to make a difference; they would need community help to be able to rise above the situation. They would need help and support from their counters to trudge their way to achievement. And this will not be a lopsided benefit to women, but it would revitalize the economy, society, their family strength, etc. If we empower women, we are empowering the whole Nation, her kids, her family and paving a way for the Nation as a whole towards growth.

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